The Cowboy
by wellwithmysoul
Summary: The story of a cowboy who rides into Middle Earth - set at the end of the war of the ring but not involved with the Fellowship.
1. Storm Comin'

The Cowboy

_Sometimes we travel far just to find ourselves._

Chapter One

It was a mild morning the day I packed up for San Antone, nothing but blue skies and birds singing. Several weeks before had been hard, full of ice and wind, but that's Texas for you. She's warm as a lover's kiss one day and cold as a witch's tit the next.

Old Miguel and his sons, the hands here on the Scott Ranch, finished shearing the angoras two days before and he and I were loading the wagon that morning to take to market. The mohair would fetch a good price, for they'd put on heavy coat this year despite the generally mild and dry winter. If you don't know goats, for all the sorry dumb SOB's that they are, they do tend to have some sense for weather.

Now I'm sure you have heard of the Scott Ranch and you are wondering why I'm taking about goats and not the cattle they are famous for, but what you're probably not aware of is that this ranch comes in two pieces. Our main spread is down south, on the Santa Gertrudis and is the one most familiar to people. My family is there – My father and namesake, Jacob Scott, his beautiful wife my mother Carmen, of old Spanish blood (and don't forget it) and my twin sister, Adelina, or Lee as I like to call her.

Now the other piece, where I reside, is west of San Antonio, back in the hills. My father bought this land first, a modest 3000 acres, before purchasing the main ranch down south. I came up here a few years back to try my hand at raising mohair. Every young man needs an opportunity to prove himself worthy on his own and I think I've done pretty well. Besides, I prefer this land here with grass and tall trees much more than that down south where there's nothing but thorns and rattlers.

Back to what I was saying; Miguel and I were just finishing up loading the mohair into the wagons. I packed a good bit into some bundles and loaded them onto Jack, my little brown burro, along with some bobcat pelts. Miguel and his wife were bringing the mules and wagon tomorrow. I like to ride ahead and find buyers for my wool. I'm a simple man and the shorter I have to be in town the better. I'll take peace and quiet, rocks and trees, over the bustle of the city, thanks all the same.

A sudden commotion of cackling hens and roosters broke into my beloved peace, followed by a string of unmentionable Spanish coming from the hen house. Miguel and I turned in time to see his daughter, Maria, red-faced and screaming at a huge tan streak flying out of the chicken yard, barely missing the wrong end of a broomstick.

"_Egg sucking dog_!" Maria yelled in English now - meaning it was directed at none other but myself; heaving her ample self through the gate she pointed her stick at me.

"Hey now!" I said, backing up. I pointed behind the house where Zeus fled. "He went that-a-way!" She wobbled towards me anyway, heavy with her third child.

"I told you! Next time I catch that dog in there I'd have both your sorry hides!"

"Now Maria-"

"No Jake! You spoil that dog somethin' fierce! Now he's got all my hens in such a tizzy they prob'ly won't lay for days! You know I got cookin' to do before this baby comes!" Her dark eyes flashed and I put Little Jack between the two of us.

"Miguel! Tell your daughter to calm down or that baby will come now!" I pleaded in Spanish. The old man chuckled and shook his head, used to us by now, no doubt. Maria was the youngest bar far of her brothers and she, my sister and I grew up together on the main ranch. I was pleased as pie when they sent Miguel's family here to work just after I came, glad if Lee couldn't be here at least Maria could.

I smiled as charmingly as I could and promised Maria I'd buy her some new fancy chickens as a gift while I was in town. She eyed me suspiciously.

"With the feathered feet?"

I nodded quickly and added "Some guineas too, I know you been wantin' some. Just like those Lee used to keep back home, 'member?" Her face softened then and I knew I had won her over. She watched me for a second before waddling her way back to the hen house.

"Just keep that dog outta here!" She said over her shoulder, but the fire was gone from her voice. I ambled over to the house where Zeus' badger marked face peeked around the corner. I walked over to him and took his substantial head in my hands, grabbing the thick mane of hair around his ears and tugged on it playfully.

"You're a coward, y'know it?" I whispered, and was rewarded with an eggy lick to the face. "Bleh!" I cried, wiping it with my sleeve. His great plume of a tail waved like a peace flag. Zeus was everything a good dog ought to be – a huge animal, loyal and jolly. As a rule I didn't take to any of the goat dogs, they were there to do their job and not to be pets, but when one of the bitches had a litter of pups I was immediately taken with Zeus, a rolling fat fur ball with a black face and feet. Every cowboy needs a good dog anyhow. I ruffled his fur and went into the kitchen. Fidelia, Maria's mother greeted me with a kiss and a knowing smile.

"That Zeus is going to be the death of you." She said in Spanish, handing me a bundle of food and my canteen. Her face turned serious and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. "I still don't see why you insist on going ahead of us." She scolded, planting her hands on her hips. "It's too dangerous for you to be out there by yourself. There's no reason why you can't wait and ride with us tomorrow."

"C'mon Fidelia, do we have to keep on like this? You know I like to take care of business and get out of town. This way you can get all the supplies you need and take your time." I kissed her quickly on the forehead and made towards my escape. "B'sides, I'm a grown man, I think I can handle myself." She pulled a sour face and shook her head. I smiled, grabbed my long rifle by the door and kissed Maria's two boys playing marbles on the floor quickly goodbye.

"Head out, Zeus!" I called the dog as I made my way quickly to the barn, who whirled around me, barking, excited. He always new when we were headed out somewhere. The sun shone brightly down through the bare branches of the pecan trees, a fine day for traveling. Miguel met me at the barn door with my horse saddled and ready and Little Jack tethered on. "Miguel, you spoil me to no end." I smiled at the old man who clasped my elbow and told me _vaya con dios_. A man of few words, he's always been, but his brown eyes are always sincere. I strapped down my pack of food and canteen and slipped the .44-40 into the leather scabbard on the saddle before mounting up.

"See ya soon." I said to Miguel. I could see Zeus waiting impatiently down the road apiece, looking back, tail wagging. We barely made it out the front gate when my horse threw a kick back to Little Jack.

"Damnit Queenie now I won't have none of that you sorry old mule!" I jerked on the reigns and gave her what's for. The horse snorted and tried to swipe me off on the gatepost as we went through. I heard the cackle of Maria's laughter from the yard but I didn't give her the satisfaction of turning around.

For all I loved my dog, I hated my horse, and the feeling was mutual between us I promise you. I bought her some years back from a Mexican horse thief and good friend of mine who no doubt stole her from some Don down in Mexico. She was young, pure Spanish, black as midnight with a thick mane and tail that fell down in waves. I was so taken with her beauty and grace I failed to notice the devil shining in those dewy black eyes. I named her _Lareina _for she was surely to be a queen among horses. We were mortal enemies from the moment I first threw a halter on her. She broke my arm while trying to saddle break her, but I'm not one to turn tail and run. I finally (somewhat) conquered the nag and we've been fighting ever since. I've renamed her Queenie, which I say only in the most disrespectful way. She loves Old Miguel and it's only my stubborn pride and bullheadedness that keeps me from giving her to him, I'm not too bigheaded to admit. Besides, I like a challenge. Keeps you keen in your boots, I say.

"We got a long way to go, Little Queen, so you might as well just get used to me up here." She was on the short side and I liked to remind her of it. Daylight was already burning by the time we got to moving and I shed my oilskin duster early in favor of the warmth from the sun. Zeus chased armadillos and rabbits and Queenie was moderately behaved, only nipping at my leg once when I let my guard down. The trees were heavy with bright green pollen, fully recovered from the winter cold weeks before. The tall brown prairie grass was giving way to the green blades pushing up from the soft dirt below, and a mockingbird joined us for many miles, playing a whistling game with me. If you've never been to the hills here in Texas, I'll take this time to strongly suggest you stop a bit and visit. They don't hold a candle to the Rockies out west or the Sierra's in Mexico, (which I have had the pleasure of seein') but there's a certain peace-of-mind that settles in around you out here and a feelin' of growing things and good earth. It's easy to understand why the Comanche are not too keen on giving it up.

I stopped only briefly to rest and water the animals and made good headway before end of the day shadows stretched long across the ground. I stopped on the saddle of a little mountain to make camp, watching the sun set over the western horizon, turning the big clear sky into shades of pink, orange and blue until it deepened into black. I unburdened Little Jack and let him loose to graze. Queenie I tied up on a long rope because I don't trust her far as I can throw her.

I sang _Nothing But The Blood_ as I made a cheery little fire, sending smoke whirling to the heavens, taking my song with it. The stars were clear and bright and the night was still except for the keening call of a whippoorwill. I ate my tortilla and dried sausage while Zues gnawed happily on a deer antler he'd found somewhere along the way, one of his big paws slung over my leg. "That's a good prize." I told him, and tossed him some sausage which he caught midair and swallowed in one gulp. I ruffled his ears and he grinned as dogs do, tongue hangin' out the side of his big black mouth.

I sighed and rolled up what was left of my dinner back in the pack for tomorrow and got out my comb. I will tell you now and freely, my only vanity is my hair. I've let it grow well past my shoulders and if my Daddy saw it he would snatch me baldheaded, but he's not here now to be the wiser. I pulled it loose from the leather string keeping it tied at the back of my neck. I am not broad shouldered or tall like my Daddy, and not well muscled like some cowboys, but I do have a nice head of hair and have been complimented on many occasions. I combed it out, so dark brown it's near black and wavy, just like my mother and sister's. As children, we often pretended to be one another we look so much alike though our eyes would eventually give us away. Where mine are blue like Daddy's hers are honey-brown.

Here my thoughts lingered, wondering what they were doing right then, if maybe she was wondering about me. It'd been an age since I last saw them it seemed and I sent up a prayer to God Almighty that I might see them again soon. I finished giving in to my vanity, secured my hair back and ran my fingers over my teeth and swished some water around in my mouth by way of brushing. Zeus moved off by then towards the edge of the fire, settling in for his nightly vigil over this little flock. All was right with the world as I slid down on my bedroll and was fast to sleep.

The sun was not quite peeking over the grey horizon when I woke to the deep, booming sound of Zeus barking his fool head off. "Zeus!" I said, rolling over and covering my ears. He barked if a leaf blew by a too fast. He continued insistent and urgent so I finally roused myself up. "What?" I said blearily. He looked from me back towards the north, where I saw… nothing. "Quiet!" I called, and he stilled his tirade for a bit so I could listen. I cocked my head in that direction and held my breath. There was a sound, like a far off wind rustling the trees… and something else. I shut my eyes and concentrated. A rhythmic sound, getting closer. "Hoofbeats?" I wondered aloud, opening my eyes and glancing around as Zeus' growl grew into a bark again. Little Jack looked at me lazily from under an oak tree and Queenie…

"Dad-gummit!" I growled - awake and full of fire now. Queenie was nowhere to be seen. "Damn that beast!" I threw my things hastily into the saddlebags and loaded Jack down with the wool, saddle and bags and tied them on in a hurry. I jerked his halter on, threw on my hat and duster and started hauling him down the hill. "Find that damn horse!" I commanded Zeus and hoped he understood. He took off down the hill in front of me, veering off to the north. I stalked and fumed, oh when I found that little….

Luckily for me she hadn't gone but a half-mile or so around an oak mot before her long rope got tangled in a hackberry bush. There she stood, looking away from me and towards the north with her ears cocked forward. "You could at least have the courtesy to look at me you old nag!" I growled. "Zeus! Quit that infernal barking!" This was no decent way to wake a man up in the morning. In a moment of stillness, I heard the sound of hoof beats again and close. About the time I remembered why Zeus was barking they were on me, coming around the side of the hill and fast.

I'd never seen Comanche anywhere other than in some of the missions before, certainly never out in the open and wild as such. There were near a dozen of them, flying straight towards me on their little brown mustangs - warriors all by the look of them. I stood there with my mouth open, gone dumb and still by the sight. They paid me no heed as they rode past until one of the last riders glanced back at me and with what seemed like a second thought, pulled his pony quickly around. He was young, smooth skinned and handsome. He motioned towards the north with his hand and said in broken Spanish. "You ride out. Bad wind coming." I only gawked at him, stupidly, I am ashamed to say. I'll blame it on the earliness of the day. His pony danced nervously beneath him. "_Viento… Esteno" _With that he was off, gone like the wind he warned me of. Zeus ran after him a bit but came back fast.

I stood like a dead stump. Bad wind? Viento esteno? "Did he mean _estrano?" _I asked Zeus. Strange wind? I looked up the little valley towards the north, which I could see better now from this side of the hill. There was a line of dark clouds rolling in sure enough, and the breeze was pulling to it from the south. I moved myself out of my stupor to untangle Queenie from the hackberry. "You wouldn't think Comanche would be so nervous of a little cold front." I mumbled. I saddled Queenie and took she and Jack down to a creek for a drink and to relieve myself before we moved on. The whole thing made me waspy, I admit. Zeus pressed up against my leg, his nose held high scenting the air around us that stilled for a moment and over the sounds of the horse chuffing I noticed it was dead quiet, not even then sound of birds greeting the sunrise.

Then it hit – an icy blast of cold wind, nearly knocking me off my feet and knocking my hat right off my head. "Shit!" I stumbled, cinching up my stampede string to keep my hat on. Queenie and Jack both jumped and shuffled around nervously and I could hear Zeus growling faintly over the howl of the wind. I swung my leg up and over Queenie. "Let's go!" I called over the sound and we headed back eastward. The wind pushed and shoved against us, clawing at my clothes like an angry polecat. Low, grey clouds soon blotted out the rising sun and the chill bit right through me straight to the bone and soon I was shivering so hard I could barely stay in the saddle. What a miserable day this was going to be! I silently cursed Texas and her weather wiles, trying to keep my mind off the Comanche and his strange warning.

The animals were jumpy, more so than just by the weather alone. Zeus stayed right next to my side, keeping step with Queenie. There was a foulness in the air that even I could sense. Soon pellets of ice and snow began to beat down on us, driven hard by the slicing wind. I knew I better find some refuge and fast, it was quick becoming dark as night and no matter how I shielded my face I could hardly keep my eyes open against the cold and even after I pulled my bandana up over my mouth and nose I could hardly catch a breath.

Suddenly there was a loud rushing sound, like the crushing wall of water that comes with a flash flood. Zeus barked and growled like a creature under attack and beneath me Queenie reared up, catching me by surprise and sending me flying off her backside. My landing was soft, as the snow had piled high by then. How it got so deep so fast was beyond me but I didn't waste time pondering on it. I grabbed Queenie's reigns and did my best to calm her, Zeus backed up against me and barking wildly. "Queenie!" I shouted over the wind. The snow fell so thick and fast now I was near blinded, only able to make out Queenie's black form right in front of me against the whiteness of the storm. I managed to pull myself back up in the saddle somehow, even though my entire being had gone numb from the cold and I pulled Little Jack closer to us.

There was a loud snarl down below from Zeus, all but invisible in the whiteness when suddenly he lunged forward and disappeared into the storm. "Zeus!" I cried. Just as suddenly Queenie lurched sideways beneath me with a whinny of fear. I hung on this time and with numb fingers pulled my long rifle from beside the saddle. My heart was hammering so hard I thought it might beat right out of my chest. The wind slackened just a little, enough to keep my eyes open. I pulled my rifle up to my shoulder and Queenie snorted wildly, tossing her head. She wanted to run but I wouldn't let her, not until I saw Zeus. The sounds of ferocious snarling drew my attention and my sights to the right. I could make out Zeus, pulling and twisting at something. "What the hell..." I muttered under my breath and I quickly found out.

From the whiteness a dark figure lashed out at me with glinting steel. "Oh God!" I cried and Queenie let out a high whinny of fear. From the snows and even from the pits of hell a creature came, huge and grey-black, covered with metal, swinging an enormous axe. Little Jack sprang to life next to us, hawing loudly and kicking wildly, connecting hoof to gut with the creature.

We were not saved though; as Queenie reared up again more of the black devils rushed towards us. I held on as best I could with my legs and prayed to God that Winchester equipped his rifles for warring demons. I shot the first beast in the face and he went down like a rock. That made them pause, sure enough and I could hear their guttural growling like a boar and bear crossed, iced over with a high pitched scream which turned out to be me.

I didn't let their moment of consideration sway me and I kept firing as they came into my sight, aiming only for their horrible faces half hidden under metal helmets but a niggling voice in my mind reminded me I was limited on bullets. "Zeus!" I cried over and over, and finally the dog leapt in from the storm, latching one of the devils' on the arm and not letting go. "Let's go!" I screamed, terror making my voice unrecognizable. I spurred Queenie hard and she took off like a shot into the winter whiteness, Zeus had let go of his foe and was leading the way. We ran hard, all but dragging Jack along and I prayed for Queenie's steps to be steady and not to stumble. I was finding it harder and harder to stay in the stirrup and I glanced down at my leg to see a black arrow shaft sticking out from it. I hadn't noticed it from the numbness and fear and now a new iciness surged through my veins, but I dared not stop, not yet.

I glanced back to see if we were hunted, though I couldn't tell for the snow. I rode on and hard, how far or long I can't say until I could feel Queenie giving way under me, completely exhausted from fear and the cold. The snow was letting up some and the wind calming, so I dared to slow her to a stop. Probably the first kind words passed between us as I rubbed her on the neck. I took another quick look at the arrow in my leg, my thin breeches marked with a red stain.

By then my eyes were starting to blur and my head felt like I'd spent too much time underwater. I tried to listen for the sound of demons hot on our trail, but I couldn't hear anything but the pounding of my own heart. Zeus looked up at me and wagged his tail a little; he was still uneasy but he didn't act like we were in immediate danger. I felt myself drooping down in the saddle then, and resolved to slide off and walk to keep awake.

The moment my feet hit the ground I realized just how weak and weary I was when I crumpled to the ground in a heap, the pain that shot threw my leg made me dizzy and I fought myself upright, clinging to Zeus' heavy fur for support. I felt weak and useless as a newborn calf and Zeus nuzzled my face to try and reassure me. He stared walking forward then, dragging me along the snow. I still had Queenie's reigns looped around my hand and she tugged along behind us, fighting me for her head. I hung on to that thick fur with all the strength I had left in me and Zeus slowly drug me forward. I drifted to unconsciousness then, dreaming I heard a shout and whistle on the wind…


	2. Some Strange Country

Forgot to say I don't own anything to do with LOTR, it belongs to Tolkien. Hugs to Mad Furry Cheshire Cat for being my beta!

Chapter Two: Some Strange Country

I was warm. That's all that mattered. That and I could feel Zeus' heavy head resting on my feet. Somewhere a fire crackled and I could smell the burning wood along with the smell of hay and something cooking. I drifted back to sleep, hazily aware of a craggy old face peering down at me with what looked like eyes made of blue flame.

The next time I woke with a start; that feeling you get when you were dreaming about falling and you're just about to hit. I sat up quick, too quick and my head and the room both started to spin.

"Ugghh…" I moaned and put my head in my hands, trying to stop the spinning and planted my elbows down on my legs, which was the wrong thing to do.

"Shee-it!" I yelped, wide awake now from the pain burning in my thigh. Zeus was there suddenly, liking me happily in the face. I fought him off and looked around once the pain stayed a bit. I was laid up on a straw pallet on the dirt floor right next to the hearth where the embers of a fire smoldered. The house, if it could be called that, was one room, made of stone, timber and mud from the looks of it and in need of repair something fierce. The ceiling was nothing but straw, and the sun outside peeked in here and there and what I guess was the door stood open, half falling down. The breeze coming through it was cool but not cold, the strange winter weather already chased away by the sun.

There was a big kettle next to me and another straw pallet beyond that. On the far side of the room was a huge heap of junk piled nearly halfway up the wall and beside that were my things – wool, saddle, bags, all looking like they had been well rifled through. I pushed the moth eaten wool blanket off me and looked at my leg. My breeches, shirt and vest were all still on and my leg was wrapped in what looked liked long, rounded leaves held on with reeds used like string. I pulled up the edge of one and saw a poultice of some sort packed around where the cut in my leg would be, a neat little hole cut out of my pants. At least they weren't wasteful, whoever patched me up. I pulled back the poultice and poked around on my leg. They'd done a fine job, there wasn't a hint of redness or swelling around the little slit of a wound, the arrow must have pulled right out of the meat there. The arrow…

I shivered when I remembered what happened. Whatever the hell those things were, it seemed by grace I made it out all right. Zeus leaned up against me as I wrapped my leg back up. "So who found us out there in the snow, huh boy?" I asked him and found my voice was raspy and dry; I coughed from the effort. About the time I spoke a figure appeared in the door, surrounded by sunlight and I held my hand up over my eyes to get a better view. I stared then and I knew my mouth was hanging slack but I couldn't seem to shut it. She stared right back at me, folds of wrinkled flesh nearly hiding eyes. Her face was gaunt and craggy, surrounded by a squirrel's tail of gray hair. She was probably tall at one time, but age had hunched her over, and she all but disappeared in folds of her faded blue cloak. She pointed a bony finger at me and said something in a language that didn't sound like anything I'd ever heard before.

"Huh?" Was my wise reply. She spoke again and made her way into the room. I noticed her bare feet shuffling on the floor, her toes were long and crooked and terrifying. She mumbled something to Zeus, who seemed to understand her perfectly and swept his tail across the floor. She was right on me then and I'll admit I was more than a little waspy of her. She laid her bony hand on my head, checking for fever. She said something again and looked pleased. I cleared my throat.

"Thank you kindly ma'am for looking after me." I croaked out. She looked at me sideways and shook her head, handing me a water skin that I gladly accepted. After wetting my whistle I tried again, thanking her this time in Spanish. She cocked one thick eyebrow and shook her head again. I must have wandered into one of the German settlements not too far east of home, I decided, and I didn't speak a lick of German. Thinking of my journey brought another shiver down my back and she looked at me hard.

"There were things out there in the snow…" I said, putting my arm around Zeus' neck. "Wicked things." I made a face and claw motions with my hand, growling. Then I pointed at my leg. She seemed to get my gist, I guess, and waved her hand dismissively. Tough old bird if she didn't think axe-throwing demons were much to trifle with, I noted. She shrugged them off so easily I wondered if I might have dreamed it. That didn't explain the perfect hole in my leg though.

I watched her get a wooden bowl from the heap of junk the corner and ladle something steamy from the kettle into it. My stomach rumbled and I gladly accepted it when she handed it my way. Zeus stuck his big nose in her hand and she chuckled at him, producing what looked like a dried mouse for him from somewhere in her cloak. He took it gladly and I eyed my stew more carefully. Looked like some sorry pieces of onion and the rest of my sausage, so I slurped it down quickly before I could think much about it. It hit my stomach like a lead ball and I found myself with the urgent need for an outhouse. I staggered to my feet then, stiff as a post. The old woman put her hand out to steady me and I found she was a hale old woman indeed judging by her firm grip. She rattled on like I could understand a word and helped me shamble out the door. The pain in my leg was bearable, more like a dull ache. Whatever she used on me was good medicine. I had to let my eyes adjust to the bright daylight outside for a minute before I could look around and what I saw made my heart flip flop like a fish out of water.

Her tiny house sat sloped under the gloomy edge of a dark forest. Great oak, elm and ash edged her house; trees familiar to me, but these were older and taller than any I've ever seen. They made the most ancient oak at home looked like a fresh green sapling, the rivets in the bark on their trunk was big enough to stick my hand in and clumps of gray green moss trailed from their bare branches. To the left the hill sloped upwards and I could hear the sounds of a river just beyond, bubbling out of the forest. The rise sloped back down as my eyes trailed it south and found Little Jack, Queenie and an old gray nag as they grazed happily in grass so tall all you could see of Jack was his big ears. There was hardly a trace of the snow that brought us here except for a few icy piles under the shadow of the trees. The land was wholly unfamiliar to me, and there wasn't another house in sight. "Just how far did we ride?" I wondered aloud.

I limped to the tilted, tiny outhouse hidden beside the house and did my business quick, not just a little afraid the walls might come down around me. She shooed me to sit on a little wooden chair not much more than a stump set out in the sun. I sat down quick enough; maybe my leg was hurting me more than I thought. She brought me the water skin and I drank it down slowly, watching Zeus chase spring over the riverbank with the sun warming my back. The water filled my stomach and even my spirit, I felt better with every drink. "Is this near a German town?" I asked her when she sat down on the grass nearby, her hands busy mashing what looked like weeds on a grindstone. She shrugged, not really looking my way. "German?" I repeated. She gave me a look and shook her head, meaning she didn't understand me. I motioned to the river where Zeus was playing. "What's the name of this river?" I picked up a rock and tossed it into the water, making Zeus jump. "River?" I motioned to it and made a wavy sign with my hands.

"Entwash." She said and kept grinding.

"Entwash?" I repeated the word. "Well that's a new one. Must be a local name." I took a minute to look around again. She didn't live a pampered life, make no mistake. Her little shack looked like a good breeze might blow it right down. Next to it was a bit of earth scratched out to what might have been a garden with a few weedy plants poking up from it, stretching towards the sunlight. There were odds and ends scattered about; chopping block with a rusted axe buried in it, a wooden bucket with a leather handle, a piece of tanned hide that'd been left out in the weather. No barn or pen for the old nag, no milk cow or goat.

"Not living very high on the hog are you." I mumbled. Out of the forest the river poured over a low waterfall, like a bucket barely tipped on its edge, before disappearing behind the rise of the bank. The grass shifted back and forth in the wind, both green and gold in the sunlight. It was a right peaceful place.

She finished mashing up the weed and took the wooden bucket down to the river where she filled it and brought it back to me. She pointed at my leg and I stuck it out so she could unwrap the leaves and take off the poultice. She talked the whole time; the language she spoke was slow and throaty and sounded very formal in a way but soothing also, like old-time Spanish. A few words I caught here and there were almost familiar, but I couldn't grasp them. She poked around on my wound for a minute and seemed satisfied, so she slowly poured out the water straight from the bucket on to my leg. It was cold and soaked my leg clean up to my unmentionables.

Then she took the mashed up weed and smeared it right on the cut and none too delicately either. I sucked my breath in over my teeth and she half smiled at me. When she was done she left it uncovered and motioned for me to stay put, I guess to let it dry. She scooped up what was left of the salve and toddled towards the horses, whistling. Believe it or not, Queenie picked up her head and cocked her ears towards the woman. She said something and clicked her tongue, and Queenie came to straight over to her. She spread what was left of the salve on a few scratches on Queenie's flanks then gave her a good rub on the neck with a near toothless smile cracking across her wrinkled face.

Soon enough Queenie wandered off and she started back in my direction. I know my Granny was rolling in her grave at my rudeness, I figured I better introduce myself to the one taking care of us all.

"The name's Jacob Scott, ma'am." I said, pointing to myself. "Jake." She looked unbelieving as a cow going through a new gate.

"Jake?" She said doubtfully. She took my chin in her hand and turned my head this way and that. She shook her head like she disapproved.

"It's a good name!" I said. I pointed to her. "What's yours? You're name?"

"Ealdamodor."

And she thought Jacob was bad? "Eeel-da-moderr?" I tried. She snorted a laugh at me.

"Ealdamodor. Ahl-dah-moo-door." She sounded it out for me. I tried again and she nodded. She pointed at Zeus, who was rolling happily in the grass to dry.

"Zeus." I said and she repeated it. She bobbed her head in approval. Now that pleasantries were over, I was hoping to get down to business.

"What is this place called? Are we near San Antonio?" She looked at me funny. "San Anonio?" I said again. I must've ridden north into the flat country. "Lubbock?" She shook her head. I motioned around us. "Where is this?" I spread my arms out and looked around.

"Riddermark." She said, and then spouted off something else. She pointed to the river again, "Entwash" and to the dark forest, "Fangorn." Well if those weren't about the queerest names I'd ever heard. I tried a much broader approach.

"Texas?" I said. She didn't understand. "United States of America? Mexico?" Nothing. Well if that just don't beat all, get lost and found by a crazy old woman from who knows where. I shook my head and sighed.

That night and the next day were much the same - talking through sign language was tiring as all get out. I was going to have to get a move on and fast anyway, Fidelia would be worried sick about me if I weren't in town when they got there. Besides, Ealdamodor didn't have vittles enough to keep herself fed much less a dog and me.

My leg was healing right up, and that afternoon I saddled Queenie (and not without a fight) and we went for a ride so I could try and orient myself a bit better. We topped over the rolling hill next to the house. The banks of the Entwash were steep but sound so I guided her down one side and back up the other, Zeus splashing along beside us. Down the slope on the other side, there was a low mound of dirt without a blade of grass growing on it and a big dark patch where something had been burned. We moved on from there, over another little rise. The prairie stretched out in front of us like a sea of grass, not a house or person in sight. Not too far off from us a herd of deer grazed, nothing but their backs showing above the grass. I whistled and they perked up, looking my way and I sat back in shock. They didn't look like anything I'd ever seen. One was a buck with antlers like an elk, only smaller. They're coats were dark red, with long bony faces and heavy bodies.

"What the hell?" I watched them for a good while. They soon went back to grazing, paying us no mind, which told me what little they'd seen of people or horses wasn't enough to bother them. Finally, I turned Queenie around back towards the northwest to see the view from there.

I near fell off her when I did. The shadowy forest sat nestled in the roots of mountains unlike anything I've set my eyes on. They were vast and dark, so tall they're tops disappeared into the high clouds above

What in God's name was going on? There was no way I had ridden more than two hours in that snowstorm, _no way_. I shouldn't have even made it out of the hill country. I felt panic rising in me then and my blood ran icy cold in spite of the warmth of the sun. I slid off the saddle and sank to my knees, ignoring the pain that shot through my leg, still unable to take my eyes off the dark mountains that stretched ever on into the north. The wind rustled through the grass around us and a strange bird called loudly from the forest below, steeped in shadows that were resistant to the bright sunlight.

Everything was outright foreign now to my eyes and ears save for the sun and the blue sky. Had I died? Is that what those demons were? Or did I pass into some sort of purgatory? I felt cold suddenly and ran my hands up and down my arms for warmth. Zeus came and leaned against me, trying to offer some comfort.

"What's happening boy?" I whispered, wrapping my arms around his big neck. I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes. "I can't have died... you two wouldn't be here, right? That's not how it works." The breeze blew stronger and ruffled his long hair. "This place is too real. Heaven or hell wouldn't feel like this. No way you and Jack would be in Hell anyhow." I said, more to comfort myself than anything. I sat there for a long while, clinging to Zeus, staring at the mountains, until the sun dipped low on the horizon.

I wished for my family bad something awful. It seemed a lifetime since I'd seen them last. Why had it been so long? I started to feel a buzz of anger then, stirring down in me. Why hadn't they come up to see me? At least Daddy - he hadn't even been to check on me once. And now here in am stuck in God knows where, who knows if I'd ever–

I didn't want to think about that though. Tears fell freely from my eyes and I rubbed them off with my sleeve. I heaved myself up from the ground and jerked Queenie to me rougher than I should have, but I was mad and scared didn't care one cent. I rode back down the hill and ignored Ealdamodor when she brought me some watered down food of some sort. I slept outside on my bedroll that night and dreamed of demons burning down my home with me trapped inside, screaming for help but no one with no one there to hear me.


	3. Undone in Sorrow

Thanks for reading! (Is anyone reading?) I have one chapter left after this one then the first story is finished. This has been sort of a (long) prologue to introduce the characters and get a feel for the story. The second part will be called "Throw Down Your Heart" and should be out soon!

Chapter 3: Undone In Sorrow

I was up before the sun the next morning with blurry eyes and a heavy heart. I stormed my way into Ealdamodor's shack and started packing up my things. I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't stay here. Best I figured I'd ride east until I hit somewhere civilized or the ocean. The old lady's eyes were keen on me as I hauled my heavy saddle up over my shoulder. I took it outside and realized my mistake.

The old nag and little Jack were there next to the house, looking off into the deepening dark of the forest.

"Queenie!" My voice broke the quiet stillness of the morning. My stomach flopped. "Where the hell are you?" I shouted. About that time Zeus came barreling out from the shadows, tail wagging. He turned back and barked once towards the trees.

"Dammit!" I tossed my saddle to the ground. I knew, _knew_ better than to leave her loose! "Piece of shit horse!" I yelled into the woods. I turned back around and got my long rifle out of it's scabbard, noticing a little bit of rust already eating into the barrel from the wet snow. "Damn it." I muttered again. I fished inside my saddlebag and got out my last 3 shots. Ealdamodor met me at the door. "I'm goin' to get my horse or shoot it, one or the other!" I grumbled.

I stormed into the forest, tripping over giant roots and rocks in the barely-daylight. My anger grew steady as I went; I knew I'd never find her in there. The place was dark and stuffy as a cave. Zeus stayed close by my side, more than a little nervous in such a place.

"Damn it all to hell!" I finally yelled, throwing my hands in the air and shouting at nothing but trees. Zeus jumped and moved away from me. The silence that followed my yell was deafening, and I had the distinct feeling the trees were listening to me, and what's more, didn't like me much.

The sun had climbed its way halfway across the sky before I gave up and emerged out into it. Lucky for me, I stumbled across the river or I wouldn't have found my way back.

Lucky though, was not how I was feeling right that minute. My rage had reached boiling point by then and I kicked my saddle when I got to it, then picked it up and chucked it as far as I could.

"What in hell's name is going on here?" I screamed. Ealdamodor came from behind the house to stare at me coolly with her arms crossed. "How did I end up here?" I turned my anger on her. "Did you do this? I just want to go home!" I choked on my last words as a sob escaped me. I was trembling something fierce as I sank to the ground with my head in my hands. "Even my horse left me." Suddenly I felt very alone and very young; a child wandered too far from home. I felt Zeus wrap lay around me with his head on my feet and a bony hand on my shoulder.

"Am I being punished?" I felt like I had done something terribly wrong, some past sin I'd since forgotten. Ealdamodor spoke to me, softly and patiently, though I couldn't understand a word I felt better, like being wrapped up in a favorite blanket. My tears slowed to a stop and I was left feeling weary and ashamed. She shooed me out into the sun and fed me a bowl of warm broth like a child.

"I'm sorry." I finally mumbled to her. She swiped the hair back off my face. Apology accepted. "Queenie's not coming back. I don't know how I know but I know. I wouldn't come back, if I were her." I sighed. "Now what?" I asked, looking up at Ealda, as I started to think of her. She pointed at the river.

"Entwash." I nodded slowly.

"Ok?" I said. She shook her head and repeated it.

"Entwash?" I said the word too and she nodded.

"Fangorn." She said, pointing to the forest. I repeated it after her.

"Riddermark." She spread her arms wide and gestured around. I repeated it, puzzled. Then she pointed at the sun and said another word, to which I repeated. Then her old nag, her house, and so on. She was teaching me her language. We kept at it all day, whatever we were doing, she would point and I would repeat. It was too many words and of course I didn't remember them all, but it was a start and it kept my mind occupied.

That night I took stock of what few possessions I still had with me. The three shots were what bothered me most – who knew when I'd be able to come by some more bullets… but I couldn't help but remember those rolling fat deer that were grazing just beyond the river and in contrast the bits of weedy soup we had for dinner. I decided then that I might as well stay a while and try to sort things out. The old lady could use my help anyway.

Early the next morning, Queenie had not returned so Zeus and I snuck out across the field in search of the deer. We found them a little ways further this time. I picked the fattest doe and shot her straight in the eye so as not to waste any of the meat or hide. The other deer tore off into the distance, the crack of the rifle echoing across the pasture. It also scared up a large covey of fat game bird, which I took note of as Zeus chased them towards the river.

Ealda met us at the other side of the Entwash, her eyes wide, talking quickly.

"Pow!" She said, and rambled on. I pointed at my rifle, and held it up to my shoulder like I was taking aim.

"Pow!" I said, pretending to shoot. She looked at it with wonder. I put a halter on Little Jack and led him back to where the doe lay, and Ealda followed us. She stared in wonder at the doe, which I pointed the gun at and said "pow!" again. She shook her head in wonder but was soon rubbing her hands together and liking her lips. We field dressed the doe then loaded her up on Jack to take back to the house where Ealda made short work of stripping the hide. She didn't waste a thing, scraping off every inch of fat. Zeus ate hearty of the leftovers while I made a fire and that night we ate like kings.

And so life moved on, as it does, whether you want it to or not and I stayed busy so I wouldn't have to think about much. Spring and rains were well on us so together we patched up the little house and outhouse and made it dry and livable again. I worked the dirt over good in the garden and Ealda planted wild onions and carrots, along with some leafy weeds that tasted bitter but filled you up pretty good. The forest budded out and became alive with birds as the summer leaves began to spread.

Ealda taught me how to fish with a little hook on a string, tied to a length of wood. I didn't shoot another deer because I didn't want to use up my last two shots, the memory of those demons still haunting the back of my mind. The wool I had brought with me went to good use, Ealda produced a hand spinner and small loom out of her pile of junk, which we soon pieced back together and at night I threaded while she spun – it seemed like no time at all she had a good length of cloth. There were other discoveries in her pile – a long bow and some arrows unlike anything I'd seen, carved from silky white wood with leaves and vines engraved all over them, the vanes on the arrows made from thick, greenish black feathers. There was a beautiful walking stick taller than me that matched the bow and it was worn so smooth in places it felt like silk, but I'd never seen Ealda use it. There was also a dented metal shield with a white tree painted on the front, which was the first bit of metal I'd seen since coming there. I asked Ealda about it, but she shook her head and said, "Another day."

I decided to try my hand at the bow. I fashioned a target out of a piece of soft driftwood from the river. I was pretty confident in myself since I was such a good shot with a rifle, but I'll be honest and say I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if my life depended on it. Ealda encouraged me to practice every day but damn it was frustrating. I would watch the deer, wild boar and plump game hens would wander out of the woods into the fields, and I was getting mighty tired of fish soup.

All day and night as we worked we talked, or at least Ealda talked. It was slow going picking up on the language and I was envious of my sister Lee, who had a knack for languages. But I slowly I learned and it became easier to see eye to eye. She asked me often to talk about things, like my family or my home, and I would piece together stories with her help, my speech broken and childish with her filling in the blanks. At first I liked telling her about my family, especially stories from when my sister and I were little and the trouble we would get in, like telling my city-boy cousin that armadillos were deadly beasts with a thirst for blood, then putting one in his bed that night.

I described my Momma in great detail; she was a real beauty with dark hair and Spanish eyes. I talked about my Daddy, and the way he would play his fiddle and sing songs from the Appalachian Mountains where he was raised before he came west to make his fortune. I even talked about my Granny Scott, who died when I was pretty small, and how Ealda reminded me of her, except my Granny was short and round where Ealda was tall and thin. Sometimes I would ramble on in English, but she would smile and nod like she knew.

As the days wore on though it got tougher to talk about them. I got downright angry a few times, mad as a hornet that they had all but abandoned me when I moved north. Didn't they understand that a man has to strike out on his own sometime? And why hadn't they come looking for me yet? After a while, I didn't talk about them at all. In fact, I tried not to think about anything as much as possible.

Life became routine; dreamlike summer days melted one into another. Queenie never came back, like I knew. I would still wander into the forest and looked for her sometimes, but never far.

Ealda measured me from tip to tail, muttering about "cloth" and "dark green" along with a few plants names I had learned so I figured out she was making me something new to wear with the wool she spun. She sent me out to gather piles and piles of a squishy green marsh plant she called and then set about mashing and mashing it in the bottom of the wooden pail.

It was late in the summer as the shadows were beginning to grow long again when they came and everything changed.

Early that morning I was sharpening the axe on the grindstone when Zeus' ears perked up and his tail started to wag slow and steady. I looked southwest in the direction he was and could just see in the distance a group of people on horseback. I sprang to my feet, dropping the axe to the ground.

"Ealda!" I called. "People coming!" She looked up from the garden and stood slowly to her feet, shielding her eyes with her hand and staring into the distance. A smile spread across her wrinkled face.

"Friends." She said, and went to the river to wash her hands. I stood stock still, gone dumb by the sight of people. My heart was knocking against my ribs. Zeus began to prance back and forth with excitement, his big tail waving hello. As they drew closer I could see there were about six of them dressed in flowing robes riding beautiful grey and white horses. One of them carried some sort of long flag on a staff. Ealda came and stood beside me but when they grew close enough to really see, I started trembling with fear.

"I am dead…" I whispered. They dismounted, speaking to Ealda in a strange tongue and came to clasp her hand. I could barely look at them for all their radiance and fell onto my face in fear just like John. "Angels of the Lord!" I cried. They were silent for a minute and finally Ealda chuckled, saying something to them. They all laughed softly and I felt a warm hand on my head. I dared to glance up and beautiful, unearthly angel was peering down at me with a smile on her face. She looked young and frail, but her eyes were as old as the mountains. When she spoke, her voice was soothing and patient, holding years of joy and sorrow in its tone. I couldn't understand her but I rose slowly to my feet. Ealda chuckled again. Several of the other angels spoke to Ealda then, calling her by a strange name. Then they inclined their heads towards her before drifting into Fangorn, pausing it seemed at each tree, talking to them. Zeus trotted after one of the men, who was talking to him like an old friend, patting his great head and smiling.

Ealda seemed much younger to me then, like some of the wrinkles in her face smoothed away and she stood taller, nearly as tall as the great lady to which she spoke. Ealda escorted her to the little wooden stool where I usually sat and let her sit. It was quite a sight too, seeing such a fine creature dressed in silk robes and bathed in light perched on an old stump in the grass. Soon the others returned from the wood and they had laid out a fine linen cloth embroidered with blue vines on the ground and unpacked a nice little feast. I sat away from them, feeling very out of sorts and embarrassed. Most of them would nod and smile my way, saying something to me in their strange, lilting voices, reminding me of the soft cooing of the morning dove.

It wasn't long before they packed up and were saying goodbye, it was heartfelt and solemn as though they were leaving for a very long time. Before they left, the lady came to me.

"Ma'am." I said, nodding my head and looking at her uncomfortably. She stared straight into me then, her ancient blue eyes searching mine. Finally she smiled, sad and slow, and placed her long fine fingers on my cheek. She spoke to me then, and I swear to you now, her lips never moved, but I heard her soft voice clear as day. It was like Paul in the upper room, for she spoke in strange tongues but immediately I could understand her.

"Do not fear, young one." She said as she stroked my cheek. "You have an angel in your midst, but it is not we. There is darkness in you, my child, and much grief and unrest. Do not be overcome by this sorrow. Be free of the past, look now to the future." And suddenly she was gone, on her horse and fading into the dusk like an apparition. I was alone.

The moment she laid her hand on me, something twisted on the inside. I felt _wrong _suddenly, restless, like I had ants biting at my bones. I felt a shiver run down my spine and a line of sweat break out on my forehead.

"Ealda?" I said, and the hint of panic in my voice startled me. "Ealda?" I said again, stumbling towards the house. She met me at the door and took my hand.

"I have something for you." She said, pulling me inside. I shook my head.

"I feel bad." I mumbled, clutching my head in my hands. She ignored this and went to the loom where the finished garment lay. She turned around towards me and smiled anxiously with bright and searching eyes.

"For you." She said and held up the green garment. I would have laughed if the world didn't seem so suddenly queer.

"That's for me." I said, my voice lifeless and not really asking. Her smile was gone and suddenly she was looking at me very seriously.

"It is only right." She said as she pushed the thing towards me. I stepped back, feeling panic rise in my gut.

"I don't want it. Why would you make that?" My voice sounded so odd to my ears. "What's wrong with you? Why do you look so different?" Gone was the hunched, wrinkled old woman. She was still old, without a doubt and no telling just how very, but she stood straight and tall, her light blue robes fitting her better and brighter. Her face was still very old but graceful, almost unlined, and her long grey hair hung down straight and silky around her face. She was beautiful, _radiant_.

"Let it go, child." She repeated the angel's words, her words clear and strong now that she had all her teeth. I stared at her, unblinking, feeling anger stirring inside. I did indeed feel very dark on the inside.

"Hush up!" I shouted, "You're crazy! Just a crazy old woman!" I made towards her, blind with rage and I'm not sure what I would have done had she not thumped me in the head with her walking stick. I flew backwards and to the ground with a force more that she could have possibly mustered, feeling a strange energy coarse through my blood. I choked on a sob.

"Who are you?" I screamed at her through my hair and snot and tears. She was on me then and suddenly, her strong hand gripping my shoulder as she knelt down beside me.

"No child, who are you?" Her voice was not unkind as she wiped the hair back from my face. She pulled the metal shield between us and held it so it glinted in the light. "What do you see?"

I frowned at her and she nodded her head in encouragement. I took a breath and leaned over the glinting metal.

"No…" I moaned and desperately clutched the sides of the shield that reflected endless tears as they streamed down from my sister's brown eyes.


	4. Long Time Travelin'

Last chapter! I need to give credit where it's due: My chapter titles are from songs – "Long Time Travelin" & "Storm Comin" are by the amazing Wailin' Jennys. "Undone in Sorrow" & "Some Strange Country" are by Crooked Still. If you like good music, check them both out!

Chapter 4: Long Time Traveling

Writers often say that memories come rushing back with the frenzy of floodwaters, but it wasn't that way with me. Thoughts trickled in slowly one after another as I lay still as death on my straw pallet. At first I was sick, retching until there was nothing of the darkness left inside me. My mind was an empty vessel and slowly thought and memory filtered back in like sun through the morning fog.

I felt the pain of death upon me all at once and Ealda cradled me in her strong arms, praying in a strange tongue as she stroked my hair. I cried long and hard until my breath was choked with tears and I suffered from the lack of air, gasping and hiccupping with each wounded breath. Ealda put her hand over my eyes and suddenly I was lost in dreamless sleep.

Dawn was just breaking when I woke to find Ealda had never left my side. She forced me to drink some water but I trembled so violently she had to hold the sac over my lips for me.

"Tell me." Was all she said, stroking my hair. I closed my eyes and found that with my own mind back I knew much more of the language than I allowed myself to believe and I rambled on in English what I words didn't know, somehow knowing Ealda would understand.

_Daddy, Momma, Jake and I had just gotten home from Monterrey two days before. Daddy and Jake had gone down there to fetch us for the fall; I was taking a break from school. Jake teased me so about being such a scholar, but he hugged me tight for so long I knew he missed me as I much as I missed him. The ride home was wonderful, full of songs and laughter, all of us back together. Momma and Daddy never left each other's side; even when the sky grew dark and misty, Momma sat on the top of the wagon next to Daddy, holding his hand. Jake told me all about what I'd missed, the newest gossip from in town and a little girl he was really sweet on. He talked on and on about her and I knew he'd finally lost his heart and I was glad for him. When we got home the next day Maria attacked me with a fierce hug and talked excitedly about her upcoming marriage. I was so happy to be home. _

_The next day I heard Daddy arguing on the porch with one of the hands, a big man with a thick neck and a wandering eye. I didn't know. I couldn't tell what they were arguing about but the man was very angry. He finally called Daddy some terrible names and stormed off. I asked him about it but he just kissed me and said everything was fine. _

_That night I was restless and itching to be out of doors after being away from home for so long. I creeped into Jake's room and stole some of his clothes and snuck out to the barn. The moon was huge and bright and I fully intended on taking advantage of it with a midnight ride. I had just gone inside and was talking softly to the horses when I heard a noise from behind the barn. Sneaking around the side, I could see dark figures running in the moonlight. Before I realized what was happening, someone appeared out of the brush with a torch, and threw it at the house. More torches appeared and they lit the house on fire. They were shouting now and I heard my Daddy's voice from inside the house. He came out in his nightclothes with his gun but before he could even make it out on the porch a shot rang out and he crumpled to the floor. By then the whole house was up and shouting. I was so scared. So scared I couldn't move or breathe. The horses whinnied next to me, terrified of the fire. Then I could see Jake in the window, backlit by the flames. I could hear him screaming to be let out. He busted out the window but as another shot rang out he fell dead, lying limp amongst the sharp glass shards on the windowpane. I had irrational thoughts that the glass must be hurting him so bad, why didn't he get up?_

_The men turned towards the barn then and I screamed in terror. I scrambled onto Paco, a big brown stallion and we shot out of the barn, past the men. I could hear gunshots echoing in my ears but he ran on hard and fast in terror and I clung desperately to his neck. We rode forever into the night, north. I let him lead me and I hung on to him, numb. Sometime in the night I must have gone unconscious, because I woke up on the ground at daylight in the brush, Paco standing not too far off, sweating and trembling with exhaustion. I didn't know why I was there. I looked down and saw my breeches and boots, on my arms was a long sleeved linen shirt. _

_I was Jake. Of course, it made perfect sense._

_He wasn't dead. Jake was too strong and too wonderful to die. He was just riding north towards the hills where everything was green and good. I settled into my delusion without ever shedding a tear. _

"Oh my God." I whispered, fresh tears burning my tired eyes. Greif washed over me anew and it was as though my heart was ripping from my chest. My beautiful family was gone, I had watched their lives be taken from them as though they meant nothing… and I had watched and done nothing. I ran, fled into the night then hid away in madness.

"Nine years!" I nearly shouted as I shot up from the pallet and grasped Ealda desperately by the arm. "They've been dead nine years Ealda." I sobbed into her chest as she pulled me close. Guilt washed over me then, drowning me in its murky depths. I thought of Maria and her family diligently watching over me all these years. "They must have come looking for me after the fire." I remembered them coming to the ranch, the confusion on their faces and the tears in Fidelia's eyes. "Everyone knew. They watched me in my _madness_." I said the word in English and I felt my face burn with shame. "What pain I gave them… all these years." I whispered. Ealda shook her head and held me closer until my violent trembling subsided.

"They did it out of love." She pulled back from me and took boiling water from the kettle in the fire. I noticed Zeus watching me warily from the other side of the room. I held my hand out to him and he came to me, putting his big badger face in my hands and looked up at me with brown eyes full of soul. I pressed my face up against his and I could feel him wag his tail.

"Will I see them again?" I asked finally, my voice thick with emotion. I let him go and he settled in next to me on the pallet, pushing his big heavy body up against me.

Ealda handed me a hot drink that warmed my shuddering insides. "Someday," she said. "When all are brought back together at the end of things. As Galadriel said, that is your past. You must grieve for them and look to the future."

"Galadriel, she was the _angel,_ the one from God?" I sniffed. Ealda laughed gently.

"She is as old as an _angel_, indeed, and wise with her years. She is a very dear friend of mine."

"She called you a different name than the one I know."

"I have many names, but the ancient one's still know me as Pallando."

"And you are very old as well? Why do you look younger now?" She chuckled again.

"I appeared to you as you wanted me to, you were more comfortable with me being an old woman. Well, I am an old woman, just not the way you are used to. It is a long story, dear heart, one we will save for another day. Ealdamodor is what you shall call me."

"What does it mean?" She chuckled.

"You are a smart girl, I knew it, and in want of learning. It means elder one, like the ancestor of your mother."

"Like _Grandmother?_ Why do you want me to call you that?" I said as I brushed my palms across my leaking eyes roughly; glad to talk of something else.

"Because it is true. You are the flesh of my flesh." I'm sure I looked very confused at that point. "I am your ancestor, from long ages before you. I felt your sorrow and your spirit cried out for help. I answered the call."

Here I laughed, as you sometimes do amidst sorrow, in disbelief.

"There are many forces in the world that most people are unaware of, dear one. Now, tell me your name, I want to hear it from your lips."

I hesitated here; shame and sorrow stayed my voice. Finally I acknowledged. "…Adelina. It's my mother's middle name." I said quietly as tears rolled from the corners of my eyes. "Or… it was."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." She said, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.

I clung to my grief for another day, sleeping or crying until my head pounded and Ealda made me another hot drink to ease the pain. The day after that she made me get up and out and work some in the garden, my tears soaking into the soil like raindrops.

As the weeks wore on I didn't cry as often or as hard, though every now and then I would feel my throat tighten when I was confronted with a memory or thought. I felt such shame at my behavior the last nine years that I was near sick about, all the people I saw who must have known. Not just Maria and her family, but the people at market, travelers we would feed, all my friends. I tried to tell myself that it didn't make one bit of difference to worry about it now because I would never see them again, but that only brought tears.

I felt restless but lethargic all at once, itching to move but not able to summon the energy to do so. Ealda was worried for me, I could tell by the way she kept me busy with little chores.

I felt… faded. Like the pale leaves clinging to the branches of the ash trees once they've gone from gold to grey, thin and etched with tiny holes. I was Autumn after the golden days were gone, waiting for the first bite of winter's chill.

Early one morning when the world was still waking, a great sound came from the forest like the shaking of trees in the wind. I was staring into the cool dark waters of the Entwash when Zeus left my side and bounded happily over the edge of the riverbank barking.

"Zeus!" I called him. I climbed up over the bank myself and saw a black figure ambling out of the woods. I could scarcely believe my eyes.

"Queenie!" I cried. "I don't believe it!" Ealda was already there, holding out her hand to the dark beast and she smiled warmly and beckoned me over.

"I knew she would return when she felt the time was right." Queenie seemed to study me with her dewy black eyes, ears pricked in my direction and I stopped a ways back from her, suddenly shy. She neighed softly and shook her head and closed the distance between us. She stretched out to nuzzle my shoulder with her velvet nose and my eyes went wide with wonder.

"She's never done that before." I whispered.

"She was afraid of you." Ealda said. "Horses can see into people… she wasn't sure what to make of you. Now she is."

A smile twitched on the edge of my lips and I stretched out my hands and ran them down her neck.

"_What the devil_?" I cried. "You're huge!" She stood at least 17 hands tall. She knew it too, throwing her head and pawing the ground. Ealda laughed merrily, a pretty sound in the morning.

"You've been to see Treebeard! Naughty horse, drinking from his springs."

She swished her thick tail prettily and I felt myself laughing too. "_I guess this is payback for calling you Shorty, huh_?" On impulse I hugged her thick neck and pressed my cheek against her. "I am glad you're back." I whispered.

"So am I." Ealda agreed. "Horses are the best healers, after all."

Thanks for reading and look for part two called: "Throw Down Your Heart" soon! It'll be much more light hearted and have a little romance!


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